I read a book a week and review it every Sunday.
For those who don’t know, Tomi Lahren is a conservative political commentator and media personality. She’s currently the host of the Outkick show “Tomi Lahren is Fearless” and a host at Fox Nation. Her book “Never Play Dead” traces her career, her personal and professional relationships, her struggles, ups and downs, boyfriends, being smeared and attacked by the left, her lawsuit with the Blaze. She gives advice to young women and men.
Tomi grew up in Rapid City, South Dakota. She attended UNLV where she majored in Broadcast Journalism. After college, hoping to land a media internship, she applied to the start up One America News Network and during the interview was offered a chance to host her own talk show. At not even 22 years old, she became the youngest person in history to host a talk show. While at OAN, she went viral in 2015 when she criticized Obama’s handling of the Chattanooga shooting. After OAN, she moved on to the Blaze. She was fired from the Blaze after she said on The View that she was pro-choice. Then she started working for the Great American Alliance before joining Fox News and Outkick, which is now owned by Fox.
Perhaps surprising, Tomi has opinions that fall outside of conservative orthodoxy. She’s pro-choice. She doesn’t believe that banning Roe vs. Wade is good idea. In her view, there’s more to conservatism than being pro-life.
In the book Tomi talks about her love of Reality TV; she was a big fan of the show The Girls Next Door, which was about three girls who were living at the Playboy mansion with Hugh Hefner. And she’s a big fan of Chelsea Handler.
Tomi understands and loves pop culture, and conservatives need to be engaged with pop culture. How can you critique something when you don’t even know what it is?
· Always stand up for yourself.
· You will never reach your full potential if you aren’t living your true self.
· Be a leader and others will follow.
· Don’t be a jerk.
· Punch up and not down.
· Don’t make it personal; the only way to succeed is with ideas.
· Take a long view. Have foresight. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
· Don’t be a shooting star. Be the sun. Shooting stars burn out.
· Grit beats flash.
· Don’t seek revenge. Karma is a bitch.
· Don’t be jealous. Keep your head down and focus on your little piece of the pie instead of worrying what others are doing.
· Know your worth. Know what you bring to the table and do your own thing.
· Don’t waste your energy going after people. They will reveal their true colors themselves over time.
· Power respects power.
· When you’re jealous, admit it and move on. We spend so much time worrying about things we can’t control.
· People will never forget how you treated them.
· People are watching you to see how you treat others and what you’re made of.
· Focus on the big picture.
· When people are trying to get a rise out of you, they want to take you off your game. Don’t fall for it.
· Don’t hold grudges but do take mental notes.
Tomi is critical of Roseanne Barr for her joke about Obama’s advisor Valerie Jarrett and she’s not a fan of Kanye West.
Another thing I like about the book is the Tomi’s career advice.
The punchline: Nobody cares, work harder.
One minute of television requires one hour of preparation and work. Nothing in life happens by accident. You have to work hard, be persistent, and seek out and create opportunities.
When Tomi was looking for an internship at OAN, she called. The first time they hung up on her. But she persisted. She didn’t give up. She called back and secured the interview. The point: You can’t take no for an answer. You have to be persistent. Instead of getting the internship, she did a screen test during the interview at OAN and was offered to host her own show. Take home message: You never know where things will lead. Just do it!
If you walk into the building like you own it, people pay attention. If you’ve done the work and prepared, put it in God’s hands.
You rarely get hired for what you know or what you can do. You get hired for what you are eager to find out.
I think what this means is that you get hired for your potential and future value.
· See things bigger and much further on the horizon.
· Think big.
· Be willing to do anything.
· Be willing to work harder than anyone else.
· No one cares about your excuses. No one.
· Don’t be passive. Take control.
· When disappointment happens, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Give yourself 5 minutes and move on quickly.
· Don’t let anyone take your joy.
· Often the next step involves doing something scary. Run toward it as fast as you can. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Step outside your comfort zone.
· The exceptional never fear change. They embrace it.
· Treat people well. From a janitor to the CEO. People notice how you treat others. They remember how you treated them.
· Stay laser focused and you will succeed.
· Be grateful: Someone somewhere is praying for things you take for granted.
“Like” yourself.
Don’t use social media for validation. Use it for business and career purposes.
· Life is about real relationships. Not social media.
· Confidence is about walking into a room and feeling like you own the joint, even if you aren’t feeling your best.
· Stand tall and remember who you are.
· When people are mean to you or criticize, don’t let it go to your heart. When people are sweet, complementary, and nice, don’t let it go to your head. You have to take both with a grain of salt.
In the book, Tomi says:
Confidence is when you think, I feel weak today but I am going to be strong. It’s walking into any room and saying, “I might not be the brightest, the richest, the funniest, the smartest, or the most athletic. I must not be most well-spoken, but I know who I am and I am proud of that because I am a good person.” Stand up and remember who the fuck you are.
…you’ve got to have faith and confidence to move forward. I am my biggest critic and my biggest challenger. I am un-fuckwithable.
Get on your knees and pray. Then get on your feet and work. That’s what I continued to do.
Fake your confidence if you don’t have it---the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
If you constantly doubt yourself, that’s what you’ll project to the world.
Don’t allow other people to suck your energy, and ruin your day, attitude, and mood.
I like people to don’t care if people like them. Those are the people I want to be friends with.
Quit overthinking, replaying failed scenarios, feeding self-doubt, beating yourself up, and thinking that others are better than you. You deserve more.
Always tell the truth. Never apologize for telling truth. Apologize when you’re wrong. Never apologize for who you are.
When you own your shit, you reach a different level.
When you make a mistake, admit it and move on. It’s much easier than being defensive and dodging what you’ve done. If the other person chooses not to accept your apology, that’s on them. But it’s going to change your life because others will see it and respect you for admitting and recognizing that you’ve made a mistake. This will make you even more powerful when you’re right.
You are magic, with or without social media clout. “Like” yourself, and believe you’re magic. And believe that no one can touch your magical ass.
Some people will wrong you no matter how nice you are to them. Don’t let them get to you. Don’t let them change how you act.
Being a victim isn’t a good look. It isn’t fun or empowering. It brings you down.
In the book, Tomi is critical of feminism. She says feminists used to be for equality, but now they want special treatment. Their attacks on masculinity are abhorrent. Trump broke many feminists. Tomi says the real thing that holds women back are other women. Women can be very vicious towards other women. If you think of yourself as a woman in a man’s world, you won’t get very far. When you focus on your race, gender, economic or social status, you’re limiting yourself. When you put yourself in a box, you won’t achieve anything. Most successful women are out there doing, working hard, and accomplishing. They aren’t sitting around crying about being women or what they aren’t getting. Don’t let excuses stop you from achieving results. You’re better than this.
Know your worth and what you bring to the table. You’re a businessperson. Don't be afraid to ask for more, even if you are desperate. But it doesn’t mean you ask for things you don’t deserve or just demand more and more money. It means you don’t accept anything lower than your worth. It’s your work ethic and your ability to talk to people that matter. Tomi didn’t take the first offer she got from Fox News even though it was her dream to work at Fox.
Know who you’re working with and make sure they know who you are. Tomi was dumped by her agents at ICM.
Don’t follow your dreams. Achieve your goals. To achieve your goals, you need a plan, something that’s going to get you from point A to point B. Bottom line: You need to have foresight. You need to constantly reassess your goals and set new ones as you achieve them. Failure isn’t losing your job, going broke, bankrupt, or getting divorced. Failure is being in the same spot because it’s comfortable and going through the motions.
Go with people who light you up every day, the people who know your worth.
Set your price tag and teach people how to treat you.
You are enough.
When someone is attacking you, it’s because of their own insecurities. You have to have confidence in yourself to be successful.
Tomi has had many trials and tribulations in her life. Her high school boyfriend treated her terribly and he cheated on her numerous times. She was engaged but called it off. Her grandfather committed suicide. If she hadn’t gone through those challenges, she wouldn’t be the person she’s today.
Don’t wait until you are successful to be proud of yourself. Be proud of who you are every day, it will help you succeed. Don’t listen when someone tells you that you’re not enough. Don’t ever let that seep into your brain. Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t smart enough, fun enough, pretty enough, rich enough, or whatever enough. Don’t let anyone tell you that you got to where you are because of your connections or looks; or luck. Don’t let anyone reduce you, because when you do, you give them power. The truth is: They are attacking you because you are TOO enough and it scares them to death. That’s their problem. Not yours!
Put your faith in God and that will give you true confidence. Don’t see things in the near distance. See things far off and where you want to be.
Once you have a plan to mitigate the worst-case scenario, nothing can stop you. Go for it.
Don’t be a sheep. Think for yourself. Don’t be afraid to go against the grain. Anytime you speak out, you’re going to be a target. And most people aren’t brave enough or strong enough to do that. That’s why most people don’t achieve their dreams either. So, don’t be like most people. Be bold and create your own path.
Trust that God has a plan for you.
I read a book a week and review it on every Sunday.